Getting married – how it changes things
When you ask a man and woman who are about to be married, if anything will change, they will usually say no, why should it? Why indeed.
Men, innocently enter into marriage genuinely believing (on the whole) that things will remain as they are now with regards to their freedom but they do of course expect that they will receive various marriage benefits, such as breakfast in bed, all the washing and ironing done for them and of course certain nocturnal and occasional early morning pleasures. They believe that they will continue to go out with the boys after work for a pint; enjoy a peaceful Sunday afternoon watching sport or playing golf etc.
Men of course expect not to have to ‘court’ and romance the ‘wife’, that is for dating purposes only. Once a male has captured his woman, he has no need for courtship ceremony.
Women however enter into marriage reflecting on any relationship hiccups that they may have had and thinking ‘it’ll be different when we’re married’.
Women see this marriage union as a coupling ceremony. They say goodbye to individuality and hello to being one half of a couple. As a couple women expect that the two of you will do everything together. Some wives even go so far as ensuring that the two of you are wearing matching clothing to symbolize and emphasize this couple status. It is a more visible clue to other preying females than wedding bands, which after all only indicate marriage, they do not indicate to whom you are married! On top of this the woman may reduce her time spent with other people and will expect you to do the same! No more boys nights out, if you do go out, the wife wants to come too!
Additionally, when two people get married and perhaps live together for the first time, there are many chores to do around the house. A woman will silently assign duties to herself and at the same time assigns duties to her husband. What she may not do however is communicate these expectations to her husband. She has realised her function in the home and she expects him to have realised his.
Often this is not the case. The males failure to realise his function may result initially in cold stares and dramatic silences and then when this fails to induce him to empty the bin, nagging will commence. In defence of the female, had you realised (as had we) your responsibilities upon signing that contract, all this nagging would not be necessary!
A husbands duties may include:
Developing overnight a Masters Degree in DIY and car maintenance.
Responsibility for all lifting and shifting.
Responsibility for all outside maintenance and what one may consider to be the ‘dirty jobs’ such as unblocking of drains/toilet, taking out the rubbish etc
Must recall all anniversaries, not just wedding ones. The anniversary of the day you met, the day you first exchanged gifts etc.
Does marriage change things? Yes it does. Perhaps a chat about all the above, to discuss each others expectations of what marital bliss involves is a good idea before you tie the knot! Else that knot will be more akin to a noose.