Should I marry him – the wedding is paid for but he’s a serial cheater

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image“Dear Leah

My finance who I've dated since High School has cheated on me three times ( that I know of) one of the tramps he saw recently. Our wedding is only two months away. Our patents have spent have a fortune , all the invites have gone out. Have I forgiven him one too many times? He told me he'd stop cheating once he was married, he said he's just sowing wild oats and all men do it! What should I do? I don't want to let my family down they adore him ( they don't know about the cheating) and I do love him. Please help.”

Sienna

Dear Sienna

I understand the pressure you must be feeling right now. It seems to me though you already know the answer but are perhaps seeking reassurance it is the right thing to do. You don't mention in your message if you have wedding insurance? All aspects of the wedding that are costly should be insured pending a cancellation. It may cost more but it'll cost much less in the long run especially if it helps you to avoid an unhappy marriage.

If you are not happy to marry a man you know in your heart will continue to cheat on you, then don't marry him. Do not allow this man who can't control his impulses and has little respect for you ( and himself) to father your children as the children will be born into an unhappy marriage. Children thrive when mum is happy ( single mum or married mum). If you are not happy chances are your children won't be either.

You say you love this man who cheats on you. Sometimes we do love men who aren't good for us. The power in saying no in these situations is to love yourself more. This is not as selfish as it sounds. When we love ourself above all others, we treat ourselves kindly and with respect. We do not allow people to walk all over us, abuse us and hurt us. Much the same as we protect those we love, we protect ourselves. So work on loving yourself!

I would suggest you are not ready for marriage and you know this and you also know this man is not the man for you. He's more habit than soul mate.

Be open and honest with your parents about the situation as I am sure they would not wish you to go ahead with the wedding because you are worried about the cost to them. You are their daughter and above all else, they want you to be happy.

I hope this helps. Be strong

If you have infidelity issues in your relationship  this Save My Marriage Guide may help.

Leah x

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