Losing friends while planning a wedding – never!!
“What on earth could cause friends to fall out when planning something so special? This surely only happens in exceptional circumstances”.
Sadly that is not the case as a specific study carried out into the reasons why brides fall out with bridesmaids reveals:
- 32 per cent of recently married women no longer considered themselves friends with at least one of the women they chose as a bridesmaid
- Many had petty disputes over dresses and hen do arrangements
- Such rows were quickly resolved
- Others said resentment around big day took friendship to breaking point
Top causes of rows
- Disagreements about bridesmaid dress style/colour – 61%
- Disagreements about bridesmaid hair styles – 55%
- Disagreements about hen do arrangements – 42%
- Arguments over ‘upstaging' the bride – 33%
- One or more of my bridesmaids not liking one another – 29%
Top reasons for falling out for good
- Jealousy about my big day – 38%
- Insecurities with regards to appearance – 26%
- Financial disagreements (relating to costs associated with the wedding that bridesmaids had to pay) – 11%
- Drunken behaviour – 7%
- Inappropriate behaviour (such as flirting with groom, best man etc) – 3%
I have attended three weddings in the last few years and two out of three of those brides lost their best friend (maid of honor) as a result of the wedding planning process! Neither of the women were ‘friends' when the big day arrived with one woman not being in attendance at all. The reasons were an accumulation of stressors but it was mainly down to the bridesmaids trying to make the wedding about them. This included changes to outfits, menu selections, accommodations for their children, special arrangements, costs and so on.
I am also aware from various wedding groups, that a common stressor is brides falling out with friends over the costs of attending their hen do, bachelorette party. The worries over costs has led to bridesmaids changing plans, cancelling last-minute, failing to show and so on. The bride is resentful as she feels the friend hasn't ‘saved' even with ‘notice' enough money for this event, and the friend feels that other things in her life deserve priority when it comes to finances, especially when money is tight. Lack of good communication in these situations is key to ill feelings arising.